Reach Out.

I used to have the same doctor for over ten years. About 5 years into being his patient I finally voiced how much depression was taking over my life. I am someone who smiles and laughs constantly so he looked at me and said, “Megan, you are fine! You cannot call yourself depressed when you are always smiling! People who are depressed can not even smile.” I left the office feeling discouraged. I was homeless and suicidal but this doctor told me I wasn’t because I smile so much. I felt even more hopeless. I asked this doctor a few more times in the course of being his patient for medication to help with my anxiety and depression. Each time he would speak to me like a father speaks to his daughter, “oh, Megan, you are not depressed. You have had such a hard life but you smile and laugh through everything. How irresponsible would I be to medicate someone who is coping through her struggles properly.” And again, I’d leave his office feeling discouraged. I never liked taking medications so I was not one to ask for them if they weren’t needed but my doctor was telling me I didn’t need them so I stopped asking. Then my Uncle Rob, the seemingly happiest and smiliest man I have ever known, committed suicide. To the outside world, Uncle Rob was not depressed. His smile said otherwise. So I returned to the doctor and asked for medication because I was scared I would do what my Uncle Rob did. The doctor told me again, “Megan, you have had so many hardships but you are not depressed-" and before he could finish his sentence I broke down crying. Tears streamed down my face and I begged him. I said “Doctor, it hurts to wake up in the morning. I have thought about killing my self since I was a child. A smile didn’t change my Uncle Rob’s decision so why do you think it will change mine? Now I am sitting in front of you and I can’t hold back the pain anymore. HELP ME.” ...So my doctor looked at me and said, “oh, I never knew you felt this way. You always come in smiling.” Don’t wait until someone breaks down to reach out and help. Check in with your loved ones. Be present and show love. After something as tragic as a suicide happens, we reflect on the times where maybe our loved ones showed us signs of their depression but we didn't realize. There is no guide book explaining, "Hey, if they do this- it's them asking for help" and so it leads to unnecessary guilt. It shouldn't be about whether or not they asked for help, it should be about whether we all showed how much we care on a constant basis.

Whether your loved one is depressed or happy, hug them while they're still here. Tell them you love them while they're still here. Reach out to them while they are still here!! We are so capable to change lives for the better and yet we don't seem to realize it. In light of so many celebrity suicides, I ask you to value those in your everyday life as much as you value your favorite actor or musician. Human beings are human beings no matter their wealth, status, fame, health, employment, race, gender, etc. We all just need a little more kindness and love.