Sunset thoughts.

I lived on the 12th floor of the homeless shelter for three years. Most of the surrounding buildings were shorter than ours so when I looked out the window I got the most beautiful view of the sky every morning and every night. The sunsets and the sunrises were as important to me as breathing. They gave me hope and calmed my heart. They were my reminder that I made it through another day or I made it through the night. That, yes, I was still alive and even if that was something I mentally struggled with every single day, I knew it was important not to give up. I would consider every single day survived as a victory.

The sunset tonight reminded me of those special sunsets in the shelter. The way the clouds in the distance looked like the tops of mountains peaking behind buildings. It’s almost like looking out my window and seeing a different view than what I see every.single.day...especially since the pandemic started.

Guys, you survived another day. Whether the stress of work or unemployment has been weighing on your heart, the emotions of the holidays weighing on your soul, or maybe this entire year has felt more burdensome on your mind than you’re used to... you survived today! You should be proud of yourself for that. Sometimes it’s not easy to even get out of bed let alone get through the entire day. I am so proud of you.

At the start of my mediumship I didn’t call myself a survivor anymore. I didn’t want to identify as someone who constantly needs to survive. I wanted to cling to the feeling of finally living.

Last year I would walk through the nearby park after work and I’d slow my walk down to barely moving. I’d close my eyes if I knew I was alone and I’d take deep breaths in and out. I’d pay attention to the way my toes felt in my shoes, how my hands felt extra cold on my fingers but warm in my palms. I’d pay attention to the way the cold air felt through my hair and on my scalp. I’d breathe and feel my jacket tighten with each deep inhale. In those moments, I didn’t just feel like I survived the day. I felt like I was alive.

Do yourself a favor and be present in your body. Do whatever you can to feel alive (safely!)

I love you ❤️🌞🌝