No more self-betrayal.

I shared with you all an important memory of my life regarding my friend Melissa and making a book she asked me to create after she passed. What I didn’t share was that, at the time, a friend of hers decided to claim ownership in making the book, telling her family and friends that we were working on it together when truthfully I was the only one running around gathering supplies, painting, printing loved ones messages and listening to Melissa detail how she wanted the book to look for her family. I was the one who spent days crying and slumped over notes, photos, and memories trying to properly honor a soul who I adored. At the time, my heart was hurting and didn’t want to add to others grief by saying, “you didn’t work on this book with me though? Why are you acting like you did?” So I remained silent, smiled, let her take the credit and moved on. The important part was for the book to get done and I did that so that’s all that really mattered because Melissa knew the truth.

Yesterday morning I woke up and saw that same person claimed to have worked on the book again. It made me see red. I was livid. How, after three years, can this person still claim to have done this? It’s like working on a group project and doing all the work but having the other member of the group tell the professor how she did it all. I tolerated those people in school too. But for some inexplicable reason it was the last straw for me. I calmed myself down and politely responded by saying I appreciated her sending people my way so I can do the book myself. The end.

This may seem trivial but by speaking up for myself, even politely, I was refusing to betray myself for the sake of not rocking the boat, not causing drama or hurting another’s feelings. I tend to put others feelings before my own *all the time* but this year has awakened something inside me that refuses to do that anymore. Why should I silence my own feelings for you to feel better? Why should I hurt myself to spare you? Why are you more important than the way I view myself? The truth is, you’re not. Nobody else in this world will be with you from start to finish. So it’s time to honor YOU and your voice no matter what ❤️🌟